'Welcome to the real world,' she said to me. Condescendingly.

Cockroach Death Count Since Moving Into House: 25
Spiders Found Lingering In Items of Clothing or Linen: 14
Moths Found Rummaging Through Food In Pantry: 6
Strange Cobwebs Found on Bread Loaf: 1
Times I've Heard Something Chewing In My Walls: 7

EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE.

But on the plus side I've become almost entirely indifferent to the presence of bugs. This very moment a cockroach is perched precariously on the curtain next to and slightly above me, clicking its antennae in an attention-seeking fashion. Meanwhile, after some thought I'm thinking of taking the suggestion of The Boys X 3 (hai!) and looking for a new place if the landlord doesn't deal with the very real issue of bug infestation. Except house-hunting is exhausting and I'm fairly certain the other girls are just as weary as I of putting things in boxes and taking them out again.

I never thought I'd think this but for the first time ever I've found a rather butch lesbian charming. Not in the 'I'd date that' sense, because there's an obvious limitation there. And this is saying a lot for me because I've been exclusively attracted to feminine women for quite some time now. I am one of the seven lesbians on the planet who DOESN'T find Shane from the L Word attractive (Bette and Dana on the other hand...or in both hands in an ideal world). Actually, I'd say the lesbian in question is more androgynous than anything. Yes. Ok. That makes everything alright. Right?
Damn you gay sensibilities.

Currently writing an article on gaming classification in Australia because it involves extensive research. Like playing video games! Actually, not so much. It's mostly reading dry legislation and chasing grumpy old men for interviews. But I'm keeping myself occupied. If you've got any opinions on the matter I'd love to have a discussion with you about it. Varied perspectives add flavour to my angle. Or some other wanky journalistic rubbish.

I miss people. I've spent so much of this year studying or cycling or being consumed by an existential crisis that I've neglected a lot of people in my life. Reconnect with me, chums. There will be ice-cream and Pinky and the Brain-style plotting of world domination.

I am beginning to understand the value of having something that isn't tied to your interaction with others in your life that lifts you when you fall down, recharges your batteries when you're exhausted, and drives you towards achievement. I've always insisted I've never had something like that. At least in my mind I've always maintained a firm sense of isolation, of having nothing much to cling onto. This may just be a subconscious leftover of being kicked out of home with nothing but my clothes.

In a mentally and physically draining month I've continued riding. 10km to uni or 100km from Sorrento to Melbourne, I've stayed on the bike. And I don't know what I would have done without it. So thank you Purple Weasel (hmm, that's not a very aggressive cycling name - I'm basically saying the bike honks when excited and runs backwards when it feels threatened by other bigger, flashier rides). Let's think of some new names.

Bicycle Name Alternatives:

Maude (because she's daring, old, and rides likes its her last day in existence - but then my next bike will need to be Harold and would need to be...young and creepy).
Winston
K2 (because my ride can cliiiiiiimb)
The Walrus (due to its lumpy frame, frightening ugliness and pokey bits that always invariably leave scratches around my ankles (canine tusks).
Rusty (for obvious reasons - although this is akin to naming your firstborn Wailing, Bald Collection of Flesh...or Stinky).

Further suggestions?

Staying with the bike theme. I have recently re-taught myself how to ride and steer using only the weight of my body (without hands). I used to be quite good at this when I was younger but I'd fallen out of practice so whenever I tried I could only maintain it for about three seconds. Late last night I used a relatively deserted bike path to my full advantage and got myself to an impressive level of bike control. Except it's a useless talent because it's illegal in Victoria to ride with less than one hand on the handlebars. Yes, illegal. Actually, I think that makes it a useful talent.

On a final note, and to turn this entire bike-themed post on its head, I just went grocery shopping and bought vegetables and fruit and meat and REAL FOOD, yet I still sat down and ate Vegemite on crackers for dinner.
 

So I'm back from Sorrento. I've decided that when I retire I want to live on the Mornington Peninsula because that seems to be the thing to do. Honestly, about 65% of the population out there are over 55. Anyway, the place we stayed at was gorgeous (go me, that place took me hours to find online).

Discoveries made in Sorrento:

- Cathedral ceilings are awesome.
- Egyptian cotton Sheridan towels are a soft, delicious alternative to clothing.
- Hammocks are difficult to get up from. So don't get up.
- When park officials say be back at the car park by 5pm, they mean it. Otherwise they padlock the exit gate and you're forced to ration out doughnuts until the ranger comes back to fetch you and your embarrassed girlfriend.
- Sticky date pudding tastes better when you're on holiday.
- Remember to fit a padded gel seat to your bike if you're riding 100km. Otherwise you WILL have a very sore butt when you arrive back in Melbourne.

Speaking of bikes, I took Teddy to get a new bike today and we bought him a nifty wheeled thing. It is shiny and better than mine and I am a little bit jealous. But I will have an hour to have my way with it tomorrow morning when I deliver it to his house. Once mouth finances are finalised I'll have to determine when I can finally get a new set of wheels myself. Although I love my bike (you know, I've had her so long it's about time I christened her with a name - any thoughts other than junkbox?) she's really struggling to keep up with my adventures. And the rust. Oh the rust.

Closing Questions:

Do queers not rise before 9am?
Why does Clayton coffee give me heart palpitations?

Eurgh! Relationships! Eurgh!
That is all.

I'm considering rewarding myself with something awesome if I can get through this week and accomplish everything I need to. I've got to finish that giant assignment that's now ridiculously overdue, finish and organise publication of my article on alcohol consumption, give my media ethics presentation with a lisp, edit giant collection of academic essays (I occasionally provide my editing services for free to any friends or friends of friends who require it - mostly because I require the practice but also because the level of poorly written/structured academic essays astounds me), continue training for the Around the Bay, not kill myself with coffee, attempt to unpack all those boxes lining my bedroom wall (those aren't there out of some weak attempt at cutting-edge interior design - just laziness), attend the list of medical appointments where docs who want to poke and prod me until I squeal, organise and pack for trip to Sorrento, finish article on AFL trade week (does anyone else think Carlton got jibbed?), not crumble or display over-the-top resentment towards new psych treating me for what he deems "not very well controlled bipolar" (and my mocking tone isn't because I don't believe that my bipolar is an issue, it's just I don't think it's out of control - I've been coping extraordinarily well outside of the really intense paranoid panic attack). And, you know, eat well and sleep sometimes.

Oh, and I got quoted a figure for my new front chompers. I'll be looking at about $3400, which is ouch but I just want useful teeth again. What I have left, while still a decent amount of tooth, can't actually be used due to sensitivity issues so I need the crowns and I need them soon. And if I go with this place I can have them done by at least November. In relation to the whole mouth dilemma, I've had some lingering numbness in the bottom lip which I asked the dentist about at my most recent dentist appointment. Apparently I chomped right through a nerve and won't get feeling back in the low centre of the bottom lip. I find this hilarious because it's the most useless place to lose sensation.

Anyway, as per usual during a study session, and in spirit of a recently celebrated anniversary with my girlfriend, I'm compelled to swipe this fromaugustuscaesar

( Swipe )

The Astro Boy movie is released this Saturday. I was a fan growing up but dropped the obsession out of age-related coolness. Now I don't care how lame I am so I'm happy to indulge my extremely mild anime enjoyment. Anyway, I've seen the trailer and I'm not too thrilled about how it looks (it reminds me too much of Meet the Robinsons and The Incredibles) but I'm still all fan-squee. Besides, it has this line:

"I've got machine guns...in my butt?"

I also hear there's a Toy Story 3 to be released next year (why!?) and a sequel to The Dark Crystal, titled Power of the Dark Crystal, to be released in 2011. The latter is of particular interest to me. The girlfriend introduced me to it (and Labyrinth) and I quite liked its style. I am, however, slightly concerned about a modern sequel, as I think its main appeal was its 80s fantasy feel. Modern computer animation just doesn't capture fantasy in the same aesthetically pleasing way.

Here's some original 1980s Astro Boy, in all it's lame glory:



And here's a trailer for the new, highly Americanised Astro Boy movie:

So I'm spending my first afternoon/evening/night at the new house and there's nobody home! Bliss. At least I think there's nobody home. Don't you hate it when you can't tell? Anyway, I've been meaning to get up and go to uni to finish that assignment due, erm, yesterday* - but instead I got stuck doing lame memes.

* I requested a lengthy extension for my long, super important Victorian policy essay on the grounds of weird concussion and facial pain. My bastard of a lecturer gave me a whole extra 48 hours. Joy.

( Meme )

Bye now. Only contact me if you've got something interesting to say about 1990s Coalition privatisation policies!

1. I only have half of my front teeth.

2. I have a concussion so everything is still fuzzy and all I want to do is lie down.

3. When I went to the dentist on Friday to  have my mouth assessed they took a look at my lip wound (I'd chomped through my bottom lip and out through the hollowed bit between the bottom lip and chin) and when they pulled my lip out the wound gaped open and blood went everywhere. I've got lots of stitches in my lip now and it hurts like hell.

4. I passed out again on Friday night/Saturday morning and hit the back of my head pretty hard, thus adding to concussion mentioned above.

5. I have to get by with these stupid excuses for teeth for another month before I can get ridiculously expensive crowns. Meanwhile I have two presentations to give between now and the end of semester, not to mention a television program for Radio and Television Journalism.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: Thank you to all who assisted or supported me (and my girlfriend) on Friday. And sorry for the mess.

So over the weekend Federal Liberal frontbencher Andrew Robb announced he would stand down (temporarily) to deal with a chronic mental illness. I've been meaning to comment on this because I found it quite amazing that a man in his position would come out and announce his own mental fragility. Furthermore, the fact that he announced that such fragility required him to take leave to receive treatment is incredibly warming. The potential for mental illness to wear down your day to day existence until you crumble completely is unfortunately spoken of in hushed tones in this country. There is little acknowledgment that, like any other serious illness, you need time and the patience of others to get better.

Thousands of people in Australia, myself included, suffer from debilitating mental illnesses that they feel they cannot speak of openly. Many feel that their mental fragility will be viewed as a sign of weakness. The clear message from Mr Robb's announcement is that mental illness should not be something hidden away out of guilt, nor is it something that should be pushed away in an attempt at coping. Rather, it should be something that can be tackled with the support of your workplace, family and friends. Mr Robb's honesty in acknowledging the need for treatment is courageous and is one small step towards developing an understanding of mental illness within the community.

So I'm meant to be doing the mountain of assignments due by Friday and picking up both of my bikes (one is at Clayton and the other is at Chadstone - a full report on how well I can ride two bikes at once will eventuate later this evening). But instead I will do this meme stolen from augustuscaesar, because wasting time is good after an extremely exhausting lecture.

( Meme )

Haha. LJ just reminded me that it's my birthday tomorrow. Thanks LJ.

Meanwhile, I'm attempting to raise some money for charity again (in relation to the ride, obviously). I only set up the page about two days ago and we've already reached $205 so I'm feeling pretty awesome.

Go here:
https://aroundthebayfundraising.com.au/?ChristineTodd
if you like giving your money  to a good cause. And I do genuinely mean that. The Smith Family have helped my wacky family countless times in the past. In fact, I highly doubt I would have completed my education if not for the support they offered my mother and I when things went to shit.*

* School excursions, books, a packed lunch, school camp, access to often expensive extra-curricular activities like sport or group hobbies. All things small children take for granted until they don't have them and then end up feeling horribly isolated from their friends.

I've been living with my family for a few weeks now and have noticed a gradual decline in my overall health. The reason behind this was a complete mystery to me and I'd calmly attributed my fatigue to 4 hours or more a day of public transport adventures and early starts. That is until I caught my mother smoking cigarettes inside the house. Boy did I explode. It is mighty fun to lecture your own mother.

I had good reason. I have several chronic medical conditions that are aggravated by cigarette smoke. While I'm completely accepting of people smoking (well, accepting isn't the right word, but I'm very tolerant) I actually can't cope with inhaling it too much. So I'm really sick now. And I'm very annoyed.

Meanwhile, I ended up getting my knee checked out and it seems my kneecap and femur are misaligned so I've had my kneecap heavily taped into place all week. The misalignment has also contributed to quad weakness and cartilage damage between the kneecap and femur. So really I'm just a sickly invalid at the moment, hobbling and coughing and feeling dizzy and fatigued. Blegh. What bothers me most though is that I can't continue training for the Around the Bay because I've been firmly told to rest. But, but...

I suppose I have faith in my own level of fitness. I'll have the stamina and mental focus to complete the 100km. I was just hoping to have a smooth lead-up.

Greetings LJ monkeys,

In a bit of a pickle. Anyone got any useful recommendations for decent (cheap) dining in the CBD to impress a lady friend? I've got a date tomorrow night and I've left everything to the last minute. Come to think of it, can you guys just take her out for me? I want to sit at home with Black Books and yoghurt.

Meanwhile, stolen from gorynna and najalater 

( Juicy Meme )

Dilemma One: I've been living with Mother and the Grunting Carnivore for a little while now. It's been great spending time with my family again (although they are really very loud and most of you know how very zoned I get) but I'm living in what has to be one of the most fucked up suburbs in Victoria. I've been hassled twice since Monday and walk home at night with my fists clenched. There's this group of guys who live around the corner who have this serious hate for Grunting Carnivore. It is very intimidating walking past them of a night and having them stand there leering at me or shouting some obscenity. I've got full faith in my defensive skills (I'm scrappy, but effective) but when there's four or five of them against 53kg me then my chances drop. Especially on a quiet street at night with neighbours who are too scared to confront them lest they fall victim themselves. Oh the north-western suburbs, how I've missed you so.

Dilemma Two: I have recently discovered that my right breast is one full cup size bigger than the other. It is to my understanding that many women have this same issue, but it makes purchasing a bra kinda difficult. One cannot walk into an underwear establishment and request a bra with one C cup and one D cup.

Dilemma Three: Several assessment tasks for my Online Journalism unit depend on 'group work' and I got lumped with what has to be the most airheaded bunch of people on the planet. They come to class completely unprepared and then stare at me blankly expecting me to sort out all the 'details' while they get back to gossiping and wearing their 80s-style leggings that don't even look good on them (or anyone, seriously, worst trend ever). Urgh, die.

Dilemma Four: I am a slug. I haven't had the opportunity to exercise since I got here but I've been eating about five times a day and sleeping like a ferret. No doubt my body is recovering from the hell that was moving out last week, but I'd like my usual energy levels back now.

Dilemma Five: I miss my three ferrets.

Dilemma Six: I have a 9am class at Clayton tomorrow morning. This will mean catching the train at 7am. This will mean waking up before light. This is not very nice.

WONDERFUL THINGS: Raw carrots, Nintendo 64, cold spaghetti, having the internet again, not lifting or scrubbing things, yoghurt.

So this morning I did a check on my stock portfolio and after doing some clever little calculations surmised that I've made a lot of money in nine months of share trading. Although I am pleased with the results, I am kicking myself for not investing additional cash earlier, as if I'd invested as much as I originally intended (but couldn't reasonably manage out of student poverty) I would have made close to a further $1000. But I won't complain. At the very least now I can afford some decent furniture when I move into the House That Doesn't Exist Yet.

Speaking of moving, we're attempting to navigate the minefield that is having our phone/internet and electricity switched off. This is particularly headache-inducing because we only installed a phone/internet bundle about three months before we decided to move. So there are the associated cancellation fees for these services. We were uneasy about the phone/internet bundle because we never needed a phone line (we all survive off our mobile phones) but couldn't get naked broadband at our location without incurring a MASSIVE installation fee. Anyway, we were pretty much compelled to sign up to the phone/internet bundle as a package, yet now they're expecting us to pay two separate cancellations fees for each service. That'll cost us close to $300 and since Semira is being stingy of late Miriam and I will be left with the financial burden. Guess that portfolio profit might come in handy.

Had dinner in the CBD last night and dropped into the new Virgin Gym on Bourke Street because Semira was hanging out there with her girlfriend. That place is a well-lit dome of toned, grunting beautiful people and just being in there made me want to join up. And I hate gyms! Actually it was the gorgeous 25 metre pool (I've been dying to swim all winter) and this little beauty that had me hooked:

          


Yes, I know, it's a stationary bike. It therefore goes against everything I stand for (or ride for, whatever). But my god, it's like playing a video game. The stationary bike is hooked up to this large screen in front of you and your movement simulates the rider movement on screen. Virtual cycling! Anyway, it has gears, brakes and handlebars that turn with you like a regular bike (good for engaging the upper body, unlike a stationary bike) alongside seat sensors so that you feel every bump that you encounter. And that's another thing. The resistance accurately simulates track surfaces, conditions and terrain gradients. Which is great for me considering my favourite rides are rough and unpredictable (mountain biking) and at extreme angles (thus the wonder calves). ADDITIONALLY (god, I'm like a little kid), you play it like a video game. So you ride and complete levels and gain access to new levels and can play against friends on nearby bikes. Oh, and it gauges how far you've cycled and at what speed. I'm in love.

And as a blatant copy of Allegra's moving list:

SUNDAY:

Finish packing books into boxes and seal - 11 BOXES!
Take apart bookshelves
Take apart all three desks
Transport bookshelves, desks, computer hardware via trailer to elsewhere.
Clean bathroom
Pack clothing
Wash windows
Scrub mystery marks off walls
Sort out household items for rubbish tip run next week - smelly couches, desk 4, dead washing machine, dead PC monitors, dead shelving, broken chairs.
Pack kitchen stuff
Vacuum available floor space
Transport DVD shelf, spare books, clothing, and gaming consoles to mother's temporarily.
Play video games
Do Ethics homework

MONDAY:

Call landlord and plumber and rant about shitty plumbing system
Call back and apologise and beg for my bond back
Call Optus to cut off phone and internet
Call my mother to ensure brother has not raided game collection - threaten to shave his eyebrows if so.
Call AGL to arrange for electricity switch-off.

TUESDAY:

Rubbish run
Steam cleaning
House inspection

Tomorrow I will be meeting Teddy at Monash for our regular training thing. Since I've been quite eager for a good workout I'm looking forward to it. I went for a run yesterday but it wasn't quite enough because it was getting dark and I could only squeeze a few laps in. That and I got bored. It occurred to me that if I had somebody chasing me then running might become marginally more interesting. So tomorrow I will be playing tag with Teddy. If he catches me I will give him $50. Be at Monash for the spectacle.

I'm not kidding Teddy.

I just have to write down somewhere that the woman studying next to me in the Matheson is drinking liberally out of a bottle of vodka. The woman on the other side of me is drinking (liberally, again) from a 2L carton of orange juice. And I, wedged in the middle, am drinking quite liberally from a tall coffee, can of V and a 600ml bottle of water. I would very much like it if we all simultaneously realised an urgent need to pee in about half an hour. The combined drunken, vitamin C'd, and extremely caffeinated trip to the bathroom will be of considerable entertainment for all nearby.

For your reading pleasure:

( Meme Splat )

I may have sighted the ugliest carpet in all the land today while at a house inspection. I've lived in houses with some pretty horrific carpeting before (rough, blue carpet in Mill Park, green carpet in Laverton, fuzzy light grey carpet against peach walls back at home - good grief mum) but this took the cake. And I'm kicking myself for not taking photographs. This place had a thinning multi-coloured shag-pile carpet (orange, green and bits of brown and white). It had several dark stains and seemed to be overflowing with animal hair of some sort (it seemed fine like cat fur but there was just so much of it so it was either one very hairy cat or sixteen cats). Additionally, the carpet didn't fully reach the walls in most rooms so obviously a DIY job.  The carpet covered pretty much the entire house except the kitchen and bathroom. Although the former owner went so far as to line sections of the kitchen wall with their beloved carpet as well. I needn't tell you how fast I left the inspection. Crimes against interior design - nuh-uh. On the bus ride home I thought about my aesthetic standards while a smelly man ranted to everyone about the coming reptile apocalypse. While I've lived in low-end housing before I don't think I'm happy settling for run-down properties anymore. Which is making looking for a new place kind of difficult.

Meanwhile, stealing the extended resolution's from someone else's blog:

OBJECTIVES FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS:

1. Be out of university by 26 - achievable if Monash doesn't end up accepting me for the LLB. Although I'd graduate just after 26 if they did.

2. Travel with Fuzz to Denmark and France in 2010 - achievable if Fuzz has any money/time left after Fiji.

3. Pay off my gigantic education debt - achievable if I don't buy anything ever again.

4. Maintain current physical health and fitness - achievable if I continue to physically challenge myself. And eat my greens.

5. Deal with that thing. Or stop dealing and give up - not achievable. I'll probably avoid both. Until it becomes the reason for a serious mood relapse, which it seems to be heading towards.

6. Have surgery on my little button nose - achievable if I can get past the idea of external incisions. Thing is if I don't act and continue to withstand the pain through painkillers I'll risk damaging my eyesight and continue to have the constant fatigue. All because of this stupid pressure in my face. Grr! But then, there's not much chance the surgery will clear up the problem either.